You may be an RN if…

Over the years, there are a few things registered nurses learn and a few habits they can’t help but develop. The following list may help aspiring RNs see what they can expect to encounter with a career as a registered nurse.

You may be an RN if…

 

  • You call a “fancy restaurant” anywhere one can sit down.
  • There are no bad codes.
  • Your friends call for medical advice all the time.
  • The call light is your worst enemy.
  • Overtime doesn’t come when you needs money, but it does on your planned weekend.
  • Family members must be seriously injured with limbs falling off before
  • receiving your nurturing attention.
  • Your the immune system can fight an army of gorillas and survive.
  • You almost believe you work in an insane asylum.
  • You know if a child is quiet, there is probably a problem.
  • You understand that you are not qualified to cure stupidity.
  • You know the difference between maturity as an RN and a license date.
  • You know that no textbook case actually exists.
  • You believe there is a special someone looking out for those same drunks who know their room in the hospital.
  • You have not had a gag reflex since your first year on the job.
  • You have seen more penises than the average hooker.
  • You know warm water in the enema bag can do wonders.
  • You have given a confused patient another nurse’s name.
  • You are starting to believe in the “full moon equals crazies” business.
  • Tongue depressors eventually become as good as forks.
  • You knock on a patient’s door, then realize they died the day before.
  • You have been asked if you can tell who someone’s baby daddy is.
  • Some foods remind you of substances you encountered from patients that day.
  • You are never exactly sure of the correct orientation answers from patients.
  • You believe certain guidelines should be in place before people are allowed to have offspring just like them.
  • You believe some patients just cannot be satisfied.
  • You know that lost condoms happen too often to count.
  • You have had a patient suddenly gain control of seizures when presented with food.
  • You feet are flat and tough.
  • You have so many stories to tell, but they seem so normal in your head.
  • You have had a patient tell you “I don’t now how it got in there.”
  • Your weekends off next year already have plans.
  • You find it funny when other people do a stupid act and then have to visit you.
  • You believe the only really enjoyable patients are the unconscious ones.
  • You know not to say “It can’t get any worse.” It will.
  • You have patients with ten million piercings say “I am afraid of needles.”
  • You wash your hands before and after using the restroom.
  • Your bladder has no size limits.
  • X-rays are birth control at this point.
  • You leave a patient’s room and nearly die of laughter.
  • You called a body bag a takeout bag at least once.
  • The number one comment you hear from that certain patient is “I’m drunk.”
  • Motorcyclists really are “organ donors.”
  • You do not know what to say to the patient who believes 5 hour constipation is more alarming than a broken arm.
  • You want to clap every time someone covers their mouth to sneeze.
  • You plan dinner while performing medical procedures.
  • You park next to rich doctors and feel cool.
  • Blood loss is not alarming until it is your own blood.

These may sound awful at times, but any good nurse knows these are just daily encounters in the hospital. When you love your job of helping people, these are only small worries.